Saturday, October 25, 2014


On the  2nd of October  in a bid to promote cleanliness and sanitation in urban areas, a programme was launched that will be implemented for over a five-year period in 4,401 towns.Of the Rs 62,009 crore likely to be spent on the programme, the Centre will pitch in Rs 14,623 crore. Well the idea is good. The thought behind it noble. Now what happens beyond the launch & photo op is the main question. Is it just to have their name noticed & tagged with that of the PM that every celebrity worth his name endorsed the campaign?

Walking down the road in the last three days every morning is proof enough to show that the citizens have not taken up the cause individually. The PM can only lead, the rest is for us to take up. If each one works around not only inside the house , but outside as well & takes up the cause of our area , wouldn't we automatically live in a Swachh Bharat? 

As these questions had me thinking , the news of a 3 year old school girl being raped in my city shocked me. What is happening? Why is it so common now? or is it being reported more openly now?Have people opened up to the fact that the victim is not be victimized & made to feel guilty, instead the accused needs to be isolated for having such thoughts & committing the crime? What makes these men so desperate?

An extract from an interesting article set me thinking.....

Matcheswala, who specializes in the fields of addiction and sexual disorders, points rapists are not wired very differently from us. While he agrees that some do indeed face psychological problems, many others see the act as an expression of their need to dominate women.This desire to dominate can also stem from their own childhood experiences. "If you are growing up in an environment where you are taken for granted or have been abused regularly, it isn't unusual for you to do the same when you're in a position of power because you do not know any other way to be," Dr Raghavan of TISS says.
The figures of a study conducted by Sanchetan, a Delhi-based NGO, with 242 inmates of Delhi's Tihar jail over five years substantiate what Raghavan says. Over 68 per cent of the rapists had had difficult childhoods. Moreover most of them harboured hatred towards women in general and often referred to them abusively. "There are cases when all a rapist looks for is a feeling of gratification," Dr Sanjay Kumawat says, "In such cases he rarely ever bothers about the outcome of his actions. These people are nymphomaniacs, obsessed with sexual thoughts, they are unable to postpone their need to be satisfied."........

PFB the link to another article that shocked me......
If this is the thought process that can make a man go down to this level what  society are we giving to our children? The mindset needs cleaning. Society needs to understand that every rapist has been a victim himself too. Cleaning mindsets & working towards  creating an awareness of respecting women is very important. This should be imbibed pretty early in a child...The home is where this is learned & understood.  It is important to understand that the trauma a child goes through needs to be empathized with. No wonder a lot of the serials are focussing on child sexual abuse of late. If we can give a safer society to our children we are doing what is best for our future. Once the childhood is disturbed the rest of the life is no more beautiful...
This quote by Laura Wiess sums it up beautifully:

“What's the point of obsessing over cholesterol or bike helmets or even cigarettes when the biggest threats to our children are being released back into society every day? Yes, maybe 'some' of them have reformed, but what about the ones who haven't? Doesn't anyone realize that one 'touch', one 'time' will destroy a child's life ten times faster than a pack-a-day habit?” 

The day we can imbibe this understanding as common knowledge, we are moving towards a Swachh Bharat ACTUALLY !

Monday, October 13, 2014


It's not really about asking for the raise, but knowing and having faith that the system will actually give you the right raises as you go along," Nadella said. "Because that's good karma," Nadella continued. "It'll come back because somebody's going to know that's the kind of person that I want to trust." 
Words that came out very simply but created a furore in the world at large, corporate world in particular. Was Sathya Nadella just being authentic? Was it the reaction he gave on the spur of the moment? Was he just voicing what women normally do or how we have been treated?
 He did offer an apology later & said," I answered that question completely wrong.Without a doubt I wholeheartedly support programs at Microsoft & in the industry that brings more women into technology & close the pay gap. I  believe men & women should get equal pay for equal work."  

Did this after thought make any any difference to the world? Does anybody even consider equal pay for equal work? Men Vs Women is not equal in most places is a well known truth, The debate continues.This bias has been on since ages & will continue to exist. Nadella just expressed what he saw around him & how a majority of women operate.

If therefore you want change, start from home. If everyone at home contributes their bit to ease out the life of the lady , it would be more simpler. The balance tips in favour of the pampered MAN in the household, right from the time he is born . Ironically ,this is done  by a lady - the one who brought him onto earth- His Mother. Right from then, he is used to getting things naturally as a matter of right. If the differences are wiped off at home by the family, seeing the change in society is actually possible.

 I  recall what 16 year old Malala Yousafzai said ,when she was asked what does she do that is girlie....She said, "The first thing  & the important thing in my life is I raise my voice against my brothers. ...(laughs)because they are still brothers & i am the only daughter. So it is very necessary to fight against them &  to raise our voice against them."People laughed listening to her. But as i was listening, I wondered wasn't she right?

I am not surprised now why at 16 she is the world's youngest Nobel Peace prize winner , are you?  So the next time you feel hesitant to raise your voice remember Malala... 

Monday, October 6, 2014


The promos for the new series of Satyameva Jayate ending on a positive note of "Mumkin hai"intrigued me. Loved the positivity . Watched the first episode yesterday & loved the optimism all through the episode.

#Street football- fantastic story of the power of one man Prof. Vijay Barse.

#The dream of a father with four girls in a remote village in Harayana .  Instead of worrying about dowry & marriage , dreamt of them bringing in a gold medal for INDIA! The game- wrestling....against sarcastic comments & criticisms of the villagers, Geeta & Babita won gold medals in the Commonwealth Games. They are all set for the Rio Olympics.

#Shubham- The world Subjunior champ from India is from a remote village in Harayana again!
What a story. How beautifully destiny intervened.

The link of all these stories was the fact of having met the right mentors. All i could remember was the  powerful  Buddhist statement: "When the student is ready, the master appears." The attitude of all the champs was that of Humility, Perseverance, Hardwork, Resilience , Positivity & the way they carried their success - so lightly.

Sports teaches one a lot of right behavior especially , value of a team & teamspirit & acceptance of defeat in the same attitude of that of victory . That balanced way of looking at life that helps you face it with Real Confidence. If you have never seriously played a game so far, do it now! Get that child within you by playing games, you can definitely be happy & healthy. You surely do not stop playing because you have grown old but you grow old because you stopped playing. The national champs from the village from Maharashtra who defy age in the games  they play & the sports organized by the ISHA Foundation are examples of this quote.

Therefore if your child is spending longer outside  your  house playing with friends....remember he is learning more than what textbooks can teach him. Let him play. He is learning the lessons of facing life that are important, necessary  & practical. He is also learning to face defeat with a smile & celebrate someone else's success. Encourage him to do so, life will be that much more better. Remember we choose how we lead our lives.Health & happiness can be ours absolutely free.

Sunday, July 13, 2014


Perfect is repeatable. Imperfect is Perfect. Powerful words that really made me think. 
All I could say ,"How True".

Is perfection so important after all? Why is it that we are so stressed out planning to perfection? For any programme , we plan meticulously...but then if everything goes per plan isn't it boring? Doesn't the sense of satisfaction come in when unexpected challenges are met? When they seem part of the plan & do not seem unexpected to the onlooker...isn't that a better feedback of a job well done? 

Whether it is Life or a Programme  if everything goes as per plan it is normally described as "Uneventful". Events are those that bring in the challenges, the obstacles & the solutions. Sometimes the solutions may be  right there & sometimes they challenge our skills. Think back on an event when nothing went as per plan, wasn't that the best? It may have been imperfect but wasn't it good? Expecting the unexpected makes us proactive, think on our feet & many a time think out of the box! Are we then able to accept those imperfections in the final outcome because it was not as per plan!  Are we able to take hold of the situation & face it as it  is?How many we know can handle it? Does it need something special? Is this ability to accept these challenges & not get disturbed by it  or feel guilty, a way of life?  It sure is.

 It  is called Wabi Sabi .It is  a Japanese intuitive way of living that emphasizes finding beauty in imperfection, and accepting the natural cycle of growth and decay. The law of transience. "It is the beauty &  appreciation of things imperfect, impermanent & incomplete. It is the beauty of things humble & simple in nature. It is the beauty of things unrefined & unconventional." If we start viewing life like this,  isn't it easy to be stress free?
The picture of this blog post is of a  rose from my garden. The dried up outer petals add more variation  in the color of the rose as you keep looking at it. Acceptance of imperfections leads to better health according to new research & for that you need to have Self compassion. When there is Self compassion you are able to embrace mistakes as well.

It definitely is a beautiful place to be in . In fact to understand  Wabi Sabi you have to be extremely patient & look very carefully. You are REAL here .Things wabi-sabi easily coexist with everything around. Simplicity is at the core of it all. All of us know Being Simple is really Difficult. However when you are able to accept yourself completely, the ability to work in your space in  your way, is easier. With no need to impress &  to be able to  accept your fallibility, life is that much more fun to live. So the next time somebody around you talks about Perfection, SMILE for  you now know WABI SABI.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The First day

The moment I say "THE THIRD EYE" what comes into your mind? Close your eyes & think. The primary thought is Shiva & he opened it to Destroy. So is the third eye for destruction? Is it for annihilation? 

Shiva the Destroyer is usually shown with a third eye in the centre of his forehead. The story goes that normally closed, the third eye is said to have opened when Parvati, playfully covered both his eyes with her hands as Shiva sat rapt in meditation. Suddenly the universe was plunged in darkness & resulted in chaos. Shiva formed the third eye to restore order and fire emerged from his third eye to re-create light. The fierce light from his third eye is so powerful and destructive that henceforth he only opens it to destroy all that is unconscious, dark, and dualistic, in this dancing universe. Shiva’s third eye it is said opens to end all illusion.

The third eye (also known as the inner eye) is a mystical  concept referring to an invisible eye which provides perception beyond ordinary sight. In certain dharmic spiritual traditions such as Hinduism, the third eye refers to the ajna, or brow, chakra. In Theosophy it is related to the pineal gland. The third eye refers to the gate that leads to inner realms and spaces of higher consciousness.

 The Third eye thus refers to enlightenment, the path to Self Awareness.

14/05/14 a special day for me. Today, I establish “THE THIRD EYE- Engage, Enhance , Empower”,  my venture to move independently as a Life Coach. The journey of Self Awareness is what will be the specialty. Handling a group or individually this is one venture, which is a niche market. The corporate world is moving into understanding the importance of Social & Emotional Intelligence. To take this to the next level on an individual level or as a group is what THE THIRD EYE will be focusing on. The steps would be to first Engage with the client & understand their need fully. The next step is to Enhance their perspective & vision. Finally Empowering them with this awareness to achieve their desired goal is the purpose. 

Today is also special because it is  "Buddha Purnima"  world over.

 Happy Buddha Purnima!