Saturday, October 25, 2014


On the  2nd of October  in a bid to promote cleanliness and sanitation in urban areas, a programme was launched that will be implemented for over a five-year period in 4,401 towns.Of the Rs 62,009 crore likely to be spent on the programme, the Centre will pitch in Rs 14,623 crore. Well the idea is good. The thought behind it noble. Now what happens beyond the launch & photo op is the main question. Is it just to have their name noticed & tagged with that of the PM that every celebrity worth his name endorsed the campaign?

Walking down the road in the last three days every morning is proof enough to show that the citizens have not taken up the cause individually. The PM can only lead, the rest is for us to take up. If each one works around not only inside the house , but outside as well & takes up the cause of our area , wouldn't we automatically live in a Swachh Bharat? 

As these questions had me thinking , the news of a 3 year old school girl being raped in my city shocked me. What is happening? Why is it so common now? or is it being reported more openly now?Have people opened up to the fact that the victim is not be victimized & made to feel guilty, instead the accused needs to be isolated for having such thoughts & committing the crime? What makes these men so desperate?

An extract from an interesting article set me thinking.....

Matcheswala, who specializes in the fields of addiction and sexual disorders, points rapists are not wired very differently from us. While he agrees that some do indeed face psychological problems, many others see the act as an expression of their need to dominate women.This desire to dominate can also stem from their own childhood experiences. "If you are growing up in an environment where you are taken for granted or have been abused regularly, it isn't unusual for you to do the same when you're in a position of power because you do not know any other way to be," Dr Raghavan of TISS says.
The figures of a study conducted by Sanchetan, a Delhi-based NGO, with 242 inmates of Delhi's Tihar jail over five years substantiate what Raghavan says. Over 68 per cent of the rapists had had difficult childhoods. Moreover most of them harboured hatred towards women in general and often referred to them abusively. "There are cases when all a rapist looks for is a feeling of gratification," Dr Sanjay Kumawat says, "In such cases he rarely ever bothers about the outcome of his actions. These people are nymphomaniacs, obsessed with sexual thoughts, they are unable to postpone their need to be satisfied."........

PFB the link to another article that shocked me......
If this is the thought process that can make a man go down to this level what  society are we giving to our children? The mindset needs cleaning. Society needs to understand that every rapist has been a victim himself too. Cleaning mindsets & working towards  creating an awareness of respecting women is very important. This should be imbibed pretty early in a child...The home is where this is learned & understood.  It is important to understand that the trauma a child goes through needs to be empathized with. No wonder a lot of the serials are focussing on child sexual abuse of late. If we can give a safer society to our children we are doing what is best for our future. Once the childhood is disturbed the rest of the life is no more beautiful...
This quote by Laura Wiess sums it up beautifully:

“What's the point of obsessing over cholesterol or bike helmets or even cigarettes when the biggest threats to our children are being released back into society every day? Yes, maybe 'some' of them have reformed, but what about the ones who haven't? Doesn't anyone realize that one 'touch', one 'time' will destroy a child's life ten times faster than a pack-a-day habit?” 

The day we can imbibe this understanding as common knowledge, we are moving towards a Swachh Bharat ACTUALLY !

Monday, October 13, 2014


It's not really about asking for the raise, but knowing and having faith that the system will actually give you the right raises as you go along," Nadella said. "Because that's good karma," Nadella continued. "It'll come back because somebody's going to know that's the kind of person that I want to trust." 
Words that came out very simply but created a furore in the world at large, corporate world in particular. Was Sathya Nadella just being authentic? Was it the reaction he gave on the spur of the moment? Was he just voicing what women normally do or how we have been treated?
 He did offer an apology later & said," I answered that question completely wrong.Without a doubt I wholeheartedly support programs at Microsoft & in the industry that brings more women into technology & close the pay gap. I  believe men & women should get equal pay for equal work."  

Did this after thought make any any difference to the world? Does anybody even consider equal pay for equal work? Men Vs Women is not equal in most places is a well known truth, The debate continues.This bias has been on since ages & will continue to exist. Nadella just expressed what he saw around him & how a majority of women operate.

If therefore you want change, start from home. If everyone at home contributes their bit to ease out the life of the lady , it would be more simpler. The balance tips in favour of the pampered MAN in the household, right from the time he is born . Ironically ,this is done  by a lady - the one who brought him onto earth- His Mother. Right from then, he is used to getting things naturally as a matter of right. If the differences are wiped off at home by the family, seeing the change in society is actually possible.

 I  recall what 16 year old Malala Yousafzai said ,when she was asked what does she do that is girlie....She said, "The first thing  & the important thing in my life is I raise my voice against my brothers. ...(laughs)because they are still brothers & i am the only daughter. So it is very necessary to fight against them &  to raise our voice against them."People laughed listening to her. But as i was listening, I wondered wasn't she right?

I am not surprised now why at 16 she is the world's youngest Nobel Peace prize winner , are you?  So the next time you feel hesitant to raise your voice remember Malala... 

Monday, October 6, 2014


The promos for the new series of Satyameva Jayate ending on a positive note of "Mumkin hai"intrigued me. Loved the positivity . Watched the first episode yesterday & loved the optimism all through the episode.

#Street football- fantastic story of the power of one man Prof. Vijay Barse.

#The dream of a father with four girls in a remote village in Harayana .  Instead of worrying about dowry & marriage , dreamt of them bringing in a gold medal for INDIA! The game- wrestling....against sarcastic comments & criticisms of the villagers, Geeta & Babita won gold medals in the Commonwealth Games. They are all set for the Rio Olympics.

#Shubham- The world Subjunior champ from India is from a remote village in Harayana again!
What a story. How beautifully destiny intervened.

The link of all these stories was the fact of having met the right mentors. All i could remember was the  powerful  Buddhist statement: "When the student is ready, the master appears." The attitude of all the champs was that of Humility, Perseverance, Hardwork, Resilience , Positivity & the way they carried their success - so lightly.

Sports teaches one a lot of right behavior especially , value of a team & teamspirit & acceptance of defeat in the same attitude of that of victory . That balanced way of looking at life that helps you face it with Real Confidence. If you have never seriously played a game so far, do it now! Get that child within you by playing games, you can definitely be happy & healthy. You surely do not stop playing because you have grown old but you grow old because you stopped playing. The national champs from the village from Maharashtra who defy age in the games  they play & the sports organized by the ISHA Foundation are examples of this quote.

Therefore if your child is spending longer outside  your  house playing with friends....remember he is learning more than what textbooks can teach him. Let him play. He is learning the lessons of facing life that are important, necessary  & practical. He is also learning to face defeat with a smile & celebrate someone else's success. Encourage him to do so, life will be that much more better. Remember we choose how we lead our lives.Health & happiness can be ours absolutely free.